WHEN THE STARS WENT OUT

“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.” Brigette Nicole

Deep down she knows it’s not her fault.

Yet she still finds ways to blame herself and subsume his guilt.

Maybe someday she will be able to turn it all off.

Yet someday, is far away when you’re carrying a heavy heart.

She has overcome more than most can imagine.

Clamoring for the wrong man to love and respect her.

Unknowingly descending into the arms of her future worst enemy.

Like an angel, with no place to fly or land.

When heartbreak strikes, she internalizes everything.

The pain.

The responsibility.

Bears all the shame.

From the inside out, her soul cries out.

She desperately prayed he would recognize her worth.

Always accepting fault, when he disregarded accountability.

Maybe she could have been different at times?

Perhaps, she never gave him what he required?

She always points the finger at herself first.

A battle constantly raging between her head and heart.

There are moments of clarity.

Recognition breaks through.

A man like him can't love her the way she deserves.

She’s learning to let go of pieces she can’t control.

Setting herself free from all his drama and charges.

The reality of what happen stems from a darkness inside him.

Components she can’t change, accept, or forgive.

Deep down she knows it’s a vicious cycle that won't break.

She takes a deep breath and surrenders to fate.

From the corner of his mouth grows a wicked grin.

The light grows dim and darkness consumes her.

Tonight, she will cry herself to sleep.

Locked away in a cage with no way to escape.

All their hopes and dreams flooding her mind.

Lost in his propaganda with no will to survive.

Tomorrow will dawn a brand-new way.

His crimes won’t be hers to carry for long.

She will rise on the winds of truth and justice.

Heal the broken pieces of her heart.

Rebuild.

Be stronger.

EMH2022

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A key characteristic of narcissists is their misperception of reality.

Narc's see the world through a self-absorbed lens.

In their world, they are the star of the show. If you are part of their cast, it is to completely support and serve them in some capacity.

People are attracted to narcs because of their charm, self-confidence, convincing opinions, laser- focused affection and attention in the love bombing phase.

Once the mask slips and attention/affections turns to blaming, shaming, isolation, verbal abuse, etc. we start to question reality, abandon beliefs, lower standards and values in hopes or exchange for better behavior. And therein lies were the seeds of dysfunction are laid.

In our desire for peace and love to return comes a slow erosion of identity.

We become completely entangled.

A distorted perception of the narc will dominate every aspect of life.

Narcs will control who you can spend time with, when/how they will engage, control finances, etc.

The more you follow their rules to keep them happy, the less clearly you will see the abuse.

Survival instinct will kick in to help you balance the anxious environment.

When you're constantly in survival mode, you remain in a never ending state of flight or fight.

Your ability to rationalize decreases when fear and anxiety have you in high alert.

Leaving a narcissistic relationship is never easy.

Recovery will take time.

The longer the relationship lasted, likely the longer recovery will take.

The stages of recovery will be slow but well worth it in the end when you regain your identity and begin to thrive again.