POWER SURGE

ymmharrison
Oct 8, 2022
3 min read

Updated: Oct 11, 2022

"Never let the same fire burn you twice." Author Unknown

Hey darling, you lit the match with your lies

Broke my will when you struck the delicate package

Sabotaged my boundaries with your many disasters

Praying I was dreaming when the flames consumed me

Yah baby, you set the whole thing on fire

Woke me up to see the blaze surrounding us

Choking me up on all the ashes

I was defenseless with no way out

Oh sweetheart, you surged with a powerful force

Blew up my devices with your electrical surge

Left me no way to unplug or reset

Just an acrid aroma of your power source

Yes lover, we suffered a total loss

The fire in your heart filled my head with smoke

Killing our dreams and burning us down

The embers and brimstone leaving only ashes

EMH2022

NARCISSITIC RAGE

Narcissistic rage is a term that was first coined by author Heinz Kohl in 1972 to refer to the tendency for people with narcissistic personality disorder to fly into a rage with what might seem like the slightest provocation or no provocation at all.

It's an intense anger, aggression, or passive-aggression when a narcissist experiences a setback or disappointment that shatters his or her illusion of grandiosity, entitlement and superiority, and triggers inner inadequacy, shame and vulnerability.

The rage from a narcissistic injury can range from mild irritation to an outright physical attack.

Some narcs will gaslight, deflect, project, verbally assault depending on the severity of their perceived injury. Others may may become violent, physically aggressive and dangerous.

A mild disagreement or negative remark can trigger feelings of rejection for a narc that is much greater than a normal level of offense.

It is not unusual to raise your voice when you're offended. Not all angry outbursts are narcissistic. What distinguishes narcissistic rage from normal anger is that it is unreasonable, disproportionate to the cause, cuttingly aggressive or intensely passive aggressive all because the narcs wants and wishes are not being catered to. It's a blow to their superficial, idealized self-image. When the behavior recurs repeatedly, trends and patterns will start to emerge.

Six Signs of Narcissistic Rage

A display of anger that is disproportionate to the trigger. May feel like total hatred towards the victim.
Rage that may quickly end and never be discussed again.
Anger that results in verbal or physical aggression towards a person or property
Anger that results in self harm
Frustration brought on by the person not getting their way, not receiving a level of wanted attention, or receiving a desired amount of praise.
Irritability triggered by being criticized by a loved one or coworker, getting caught in a lie, or feeling out of control.

You may be left struggling with trying to understand the connection between triggers and anger.

NARCISSITC INJURY

Narcissistic injury occurs when a narc thinks their self-esteem of self-worth is threatened. The narc's false-self is exposed, causing distress, which leads to rage. Most narcs are extremely sensitive individuals with very low self esteem. When their shortcomings are pointed out, they become defensive and frustrated.

Eight Triggers of Narcissistic Injury

They don't get their way, even if what they want is unreasonable
They feel criticized, even if the critique was said kindly or constructively
They're not the center of attention
They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries
They're held accountable for their actions
Their idealized self-image was challenged in some way
They are reminded of their manipulation, inadequacy or shame
They feel out of control

Six Examples of Narcissistic Rage

Breaking glasses if a smudge is noticed
Punching holes in walls
Verbally abuses when tasks are not completed to their standards
Destroys property after a perceived criticism
Slashes tires or breaks windshield when you say you'll leave
Hitting, kicking, shoving, pinning you down

Dealing with any level of narcissistic rage is difficult. It's best to remove yourself entirely from the interaction.

Eleven Tips When Your Faced With Narcissistic Rage

Physically distance yourself
Establish your boundaries and most importantly, stick to them
Stay calm
Don't overreact. A narc gets joy from watching you react. Don't be their supply.
Empathize and validate when possible and wait to discuss your viewpoint another time
Don't raise your voice
Take a break. Tell them you need a moment to think about what they're saying
Remember this is not about you. In a narc relationship everything is about their wants and needs.
Take time to understand where the fault lies. Victims of narcissistic abuse tend to blame themselves often finding reasons why their behavior let to the rage. Own the parts you need too, and keep in mind you can not appease a narcissist insatiable appetite for attention.
Follow through. Actions speak louder than words. A narc will rarely hear your words but they will pay close attention to your actions. Be steadfast, assertive, and bold to overpower their abuse and temper their rage.
Check in with a trusted support group, a licensed therapist, and have an emergency exit plan.