COVERT ABUSE
- ymmharrison
- Sep 19, 2022
- 2 min read
Updated: Oct 14, 2022
"There is no greater agony than bearing the untold story inside you." Maya Angelou
Hush, my darling
Please don't cry
I wish I could be there
To hold you tonight
I see your heart
Broken and bruised
Hidden from the world
Like mine was too
I know you're hurting
Shaken and scared
You hide his outbursts
To protect your world
How brilliant were his evil schemes
Damaging your property
Sabotaging your self-esteem
Hidden away from the public eye
Meant to destroy you from behind the scenes
Don't worry, darling
It's not your fault
You can't be responsible
For missing the signs
You're not unworthy, unlovable, or dramatic
You're not going mad despite all his antics
You're simply a victim
Caught in a hateful curse
Of a narcissist's wicket covert abuse
E.M.H.2021
COPING WITH COVERT ABUSE
Cover abuse tactics are psychological and emotional in nature.These tactics are hidden and under the radar so that the target can't easily identify what's going on. They are secret mind games to systematically manipulate emotions. They are designed to make you doubt yourself and your perceptions and to take on your perpetrators narrative.
Covert abuse includes any type of underhanded and deceitful behavior on the part of the abuser to gain power and control.
Covert abuse tends to have the following elements:
Abuses occur casually
It is subtle which makes it easy to deny, ignore or minimize
It rarely occurs one time
The abuser tends to be perceived to others as a good guy or gal, friendly, charming
The abuser is very convincing
Victims become desensitized to their own experiences over time
Many times victims of covert abuse believe they are being irrational, question reality of what's happening, feel anxious and depressed, sense that something isn't right in the relationship but can't pinpoint exactly what it is. Victims may even blame themselves and write off the crazy making behaviors of the perpetrator.
For more information on covert abuse, I found an article titled, "Learn to Recognize 26 Covert Abuse Tactics" on Confusion to Clarity to be helpful. Click the link below to read the article.
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